The one with the idiot

Growing up, finding one’s passion and place in the world, friendship and love are all themes that intertwine in this first book I read in 2023. The idiot is a semi-autobiographical novel by Elif Batuman. It tells the story of Selin, a Turkish descent student at Harvard, and her self-discovery journey.

The story follows Selin in her first year studying at Harvard, and the summer she spends in the Hungarian countryside teaching English. It is a coming of age story that differs from others due to the nature of Selin’s character. She is witty, insightful and possesses a unique way of thinking. This is particularly relevant for she serves as narrator to her own story. 

Few books contain such detail, not of the actions, but of what the main character feels and thinks. Through Selin’s eyes we meet her roommates and friends, we join her in her lectures and travels. We meet Svetlana, who becomes her best friend. Though they may seem quite different to each other they share a similar perspective on life. We also get to know Ivan, an older mathematics student with whom Selin falls in love, sort of. After she writes to him, they start exchanging a series of e-mails that evolve into a relationship that blurs the edge between love and friendship.

This book was so relatable to my years at university, it made me recall experiences I thought I had forgotten. It was as if I were living again in Selin’s shoes, a twisted reinterpretation of my own life with its hopes and expectations. It also reminded me of what I wanted to become, to pursue my dreams and passions.

The story left me feeling farsick, longing for places I have visited in this reality but not in Selin’s. I wish I could visit her at Harvard and attend her lessons on philosophy and linguistics, travel to her Paris and Budapest, and maybe find her running along the Seine or rowing down the Danube. What would I tell her? Probably nothing. Possibly “I get you” (or “you get me”). 

Just as Selin, I also was (am) too naive for the ways of the world. Her experience as a high school overachiever who is then thrown into the adult world is something I can relate to and made me feel nostalgic, perhaps. Nostalgic about who I was, but also almost proud of who I have become.

As I finished this book, a bittersweet feeling stayed within me. In just three days I felt as if I had known Selin my whole life and I was saying goodbye to a dear friend; hope for what is yet to come remained. With the last lines in the story, I felt a little less alone. After all, I too am an idiot.

"For a moment it felt like we weren’t in the Danube at all but in the river of time, and everyone was at a different point, though in another sense we were all here at once."